(Written October 12, 2019)
I’ve grown a lot in the last month. I feel empowered. I became vulnerable. Shared my story with the world, was both cautioned that I was on the wrong path and encouraged to follow my own path and keep sharing. I was misunderstood, but I was also understood and embraced. I was both confronted by people worried about me because they did not understand my journey and applauded and thanked by people that in one way or another resonated with my journey. My friends list grew smaller but my in real life and online tribe grew bigger.
Not everyone will understand me. Not everyone will agree with my path in life. But what I’ve embraced the last couple weeks is that they don’t have to. People don’t have to agree with me about my choices. They don’t have to understand. Heck, half the time I don’t think I understand, but I see a trajectory and I am learning to trust the process. People don’t have to like where they think I’m headed. They don’t have to give me permission or approval to move forward in a way that is right for me. I don’t have to see their opinions as invalidating my life, because they are THEIR opinions and I am allowed to have my own. I do not have to and will not give them that power or control over me. I will not press myself into a mold of somebody else’s expectations. They can doubt me, question me, laugh at me, criticize me, gossip about me…but that will not deter me.
BUT WHAT I WILL do, is I will live my life authentically. I will continue to be vulnerable. I will not be shut down by fear or opinions. I will make the most of this life. I will continue to love and learn and grow and strive to be present. I will continue to improve myself daily and to be the best version of me I can be. I will remember that I am already whole. Then in the midst of all that, I will continue to love and reach out to others to encourage them to press on with their life and what resonates with them. Their path may or may not look like mine, but that’s awesome and is not to be judged. It just is. And I embrace and support individual uniqueness and diversity. As I continue to heal and learn to love myself as I am I will help others heal too. I will be a safe place where whoever is drawn to me can be free to be themselves and realize they are already whole and loved too.
I exist to love and to make a difference. This life is not just about me. It’s about SO MUCH MORE. And I am fascinated by the learning process🖤.