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©2019 by Makayla Jo. Proudly created with Wix.com

Tyler, Texas * USA * 903-948-2701 * kjmc0223@gmail.com

  • Kayla Jo

You Think I Need To Go Back to Church Because You are Confused

I've left the box of religion and one way to view life and "god." You can stop asking me to re-enter the box. Stop thinking you’ve got something I absolutely need just because you need it, so you think everybody needs it. We are all unique. We are all on our own created journeys. We all have our own perceptions of reality.

I’m not going back. I do not want to. I can’t.

Truth is, I can't go back because I’ve grown. I've outgrown the box. I don't fit anymore.

When a child grows, we often jokingly ask them to stop or shrink or go back to being small...& when people grow outside our ideological religious boxes we think they need to do the same...but people that ask me to come back or reconsider are not kidding. They’re scared for me.

Maybe scared because they have been taught to push away and not give any place to the unknown. Maybe they’re afraid because they’ve been taught not to question outside the box. Maybe they’re scared because it doesn’t fit their paradigm of what they genuinely believe to be absolutely true for the entire human race.

But they genuinely don’t understand that my life is not in danger. I am in an incredible place of growth. If they understood that, they would never ask me to leave where I'm at or reconsider going back to where I was. They would encourage me to keep doing what I'm doing! They would realize that I am perfectly okay.

There’s nothing wrong with me or my life. I’m growing and it scares some of you. But it only scares you because you don’t understand. Exvangelicals and people who leave the church or people who leave any other religion, are not necessarily backsliding. Backsliding is a term used in the religion I grew up in that describes a person that isn't following God, the Bible, or spiritual authority in an acceptable (near perfect) manner.

They're not backsliding...in fact, they’re very possibly and most likely doing the opposite. They’re growing. And because they’re growing, they are venturing out of the story box that most of the world doesn’t even believe anyway, and they’re learning that a satisfying life and truth can be found in so many places. They’re learning that they don’t have to subscribe to one book or one religious institution to find purpose and meaning.

Meaning is inside of them. They get to create it.

Google or YouTube paradigms and how the brain shifts and how your story and view of the world is formed in the early years as a very young child...and then solidified throughout your lifetime. Search confirmation bias to see why you always find evidence for what you’re looking for. Realize that what you're born into, you're going to subscribe to and believe unless there is major trauma or an event(s) creating a paradigm shift, and you allow yourself to question and explore...

Then work on being open to the idea that it’s okay for everybody to have their own view of the world...without burning in hell if it doesn’t match yours. 🖤. You have to be willing to grow. You have to be willing to do the work. You have to be willing to risk being wrong. Then the whole world opens up and you see life in an amazing, new, refreshing way. But at the same time, you see the matrix...seeing where people are stuck running in circles...but you are free, and the world is wide-open in amazing new ways that you get to create. I do not try to convince church goers to leave the church. I don't want to. That's not my job. I want space for autonomy and to create my own life, and I want to honor them with the same right. There is only a problem when fundamentalists get so wrapped up in their story that they think the entire world needs to take on their belief system or burn in hell, and then they act on it, crossing boundaries, claiming it's love.

Crossing boundaries, infringing on another human's rights or belief system, is never love.

If you want to be Christian? Hindu? Mormon? Buddhist? Non religious? Great!

You want this church or that church because you think it’s the most accurate? Go for it!

You think I should agree with you and subscribe to your idea that I am going to hell if I don’t subscribe to your belief system, and there’s DEFINITELY a personal god who loves and cares for you?


I love that you love that belief of yours. However, it’s yours, not mine, I am ok with a genuine not knowing. I don’t need to know. My story is different and it no longer depends on something external validating me with love and acceptance. I know many of you don’t think I’m ok, if you’re a part of the belief system I came from. But I will let you work through that on your own. Please leave me out of it. I am not here to convince you that I am okay. I don’t need to. I’m only responsible for me. I can’t change your mind for you. You must dive deep and do your own research if you really want to see differently. But if you don’t...that’s okay too.

But then again, maybe question, why it bothers you so much that I may be "wrong?" Or maybe, deep down inside, are you afraid that you may be "wrong?" ;)

Outside the box...from a birds eye view...there is no "wrong." You see the illusion. You see the freedom to create.